She

Only when you are alone you get it. Only then you understand, and only then it matters.

So make me high, give me a kiss. I want to feel alive, although just for tonight, just before I will leave this place. “Love me two times, one for today and one for tomorrow”.

Because it`s enough. And you know it as good as I. Lost in the moment, lost in the color, lost. Completely lost. Till there is just that.

She was sitting with book in her hands, nothing more, just an old book in front of her shinny smile. I am getting lost, but you are going away like spinning plates. I am gonna follow you in the deepest ocean with weird fish, nothing more.

When I open my eyes, she is not there anymore. Probably I have been dreaming too much. I closed my eyes just before she left. I was lost in the moment. Now I am paying for it.

I am walking home. I am lonely again all over this silent city. I am walking slowly, because I don’t want to lose your picture. I am going to hold you all night long, silently hoping I will be able to find you tomorrow morning in my mind again and again. 

L. and K.

Calling

Two-shadowed men are roaming the streets.

Black streets, grey clouds and a new pocket of cigarettes – nothing more, nothings less.

You should follow them, but then again no, you don’t want to know, because they don’t care.

Do you care? A bar is calling for them. Red light and the smell of cheap alcohol, bar full with people that you don’t know. Do you care?

Probably, not, you are one of them. One of those who is following right beside the shadows. You lay there and then in an instance you become nothing.

How many stupid words do you have to use before you can have fun? Give me another beer because tonight I don’t want anything else besides following those men. Just follow my name.

At the same time you now that at the exact moment when they will whisper your name, the game will end and all that will be left – just cheap bar, cheap conversations, cheap smiles, and one meaningless man.

Count your time. The difference between the first and the second is so big that you want to drown in your feelings.

There is a girl. You are falling in love with her, but you need to pee. And when you are finished, she is already gone, and you order yet another beer.

Why is everything so grey?

The morning is calling you, the sun is coming out slowly. You step back, your mind is somewhere else. There is no more men to follow – just you and the empty pocket of cigarettes.

And you are done.

L and K.

Running away

One cat, one dog, one garden, the smell of the old city, and you.

Different things, different faces, palms, claws, and you – caught in the moment. Counting

them, until one jumps out.

There is a kid in front of me. He is smiling and I am happy once again. The mother is asking for a picture, but he says: “No!” He doesn’t know what the happiness is. He said no, and I am happy again.

Because I am just like him. I also don’t know it, but God believe me, I want to. We are the same, and in one crazy moment I wish I was the kid and the woman was my mother, and everything would be different. I would have said yes, I would have smiled, hugged her and just enjoyed it. But it`s not like that and the cat is laughing now.

The father is running away, and the kid is following him. But I am still waiting for you. Waiting for my promised happiness. Could you bring some with you? One cat, one dog, one garden, the smell of the old city, and your happiness.

Everything is falling apart. But I want it, I want that.

I should follow them, I should stay with them, I should glue myself to them, but I am just standing there. The mother is lingering, because that`s what they do. In that moment I understand that I am using them, I am just an imposter, and at the end I am deceiving myself. At that moment I recognize the real meaning of happiness, it`s not about running away, it`s about finding your home with a nice garden, a cat, a dog and your smell.

Sorry, do you know where I put my happiness? 

L. and K.